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Screw it, it's going in the will either way. How about a cow patty squished and formed into a turtle. The Chinese government is spending billions trying to clean the stuff out of their rivers and lakes. We'd like to think that if you were in a speed boat race and Jesus called you to walk out on the water, he'd be cool with you slowing down first. Over the past six years, Cracked has collected some of the most insane real photographs of all time. The answer is pretty cool, though apparently not nearly as cool as whatever year-olds are texting each other these days. At the bottom is a dry riverbed. The photo is the result of a mysterious, as yet unclassified cloud type that's been showing up all over the United Kingdom and New Zealand, and wherever else Prior happens to have his camera pointed at the sky. Trees don't give a shit. Unfortunately for Norway's hockey team, 55 Ole-Kristian Tollefsen does not possess Nightcrawler's ability to magically disappear out of a sticky situation. Australian photographer Ken Prior snapped the nearly visible brushstrokes in the above sky over Scotland. This giant, terrifying Eddie Murphy head that looks like a badly Photoshopped and probably racist 4chan meme was actually part of an enormous bust they were building to promote the movie Meet Dave.

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